seasons passing; learning

slowly but surely

I’m treating the below like a journal entry, mostly to remind myself of how I felt during this time, and the little lessons learned. hopefully it can be helpful to you, too.

Months after my last post, I’m still in my failing era (unfortunately). But I’m reminding myself that the montage sequence is only fast in its consumption, not in its creation. It's always funny to me when readers tell me they finished my book in less than 24 hours. It makes me happy—that’s the mark of a riveting read—but also, it’s a little ironic (to me). After all, it took me over four years from conception to publication to write the book. That’s just how the ratio works. Creating something takes infinitely longer than consuming something.

Lately, I’ve been struggling to get back into the writing flow for my current WIP. I had momentum back in June and July, and I told myself, this momentum is rare—hold onto it, keep going. Well, I guess I didn’t listen. Because I stopped writing as my latest book release crept up, and I began to transition my efforts and focus to the marketing and promotion of THE DRAGON WAKES WITH THUNDER. Soon enough, I wasn’t writing at all, just filming little tiktoks and traveling to conventions (american library association! comic con! fanx!) and then, a cross-country book tour.

BOOK TOUR

It was such a joy meeting readers—both familiar faces and brand-new ones—and getting to be serious and silly across the wide range of questions and topics that came up. At my Seattle stop in Northgate, we ended up talking about animes we loved as kids, and somehow that conversation unlocked something major in my WIP. I left feeling unexpectedly inspired—and ready to overhaul a story idea.

For my final stop in NYC, I had more time to prepare, and, as the last stop on tour, I wanted to go all out for my readers. A friend and I made blue curaçao drinks with lychee jelly to match the cover of DRAGON. We had blue chocolate-dipped strawberries (the glitter got everywhere), and in true chaotic fashion, my friend even bought cash off a stranger to acquire Chinatown pastries for the launch party.

That whole day was a whirlwind. I’d convinced myself I wouldn’t hit the NYT list (everyone warned sequels were harder), so I decided to go on a run to stave off the disappointment. I ran from FiDi to Central Park, listening to sad music, then took the train back to FiDi only to realize I’d left my keys in the park. Hours later, I finally got back to my apartment when my editor called: not only had The Dragon Wakes with Thunder made the list—it debuted at #7 for Adult Hardcover Fiction! It was the most surreal moment, and I felt like I was floating—like I couldn’t believe this was my life. So, to my readers, thank you all for making a lifelong dream come true. I never imagined my author career unfolding in this way, and I feel so, so lucky, and grateful, to have so many people read and enjoy and champion my stories.

On the topic of surreal moments: FanX. Not only did I meet Brandon Sanderson and Brandon Mull, but I somehow ended up on a panel with them. And it wasn’t even a normal panel—it was “Battle of the Tropes.” The audience threw out tropes at random, and each team had 90 seconds to debate why ours was superior. Then the audience would cheer to decide the winner.

(Some context on why this felt so intimidating: when I was in fourth grade, I won a local poetry contest that came with a cash prize. The moment I learned I’d have to read the poem aloud at the library, I actually tried to give the prize back just to escape public speaking. In high school, I avoided debate team altogether—even though my two best friends were the captains. Honestly, one of the reasons I became a writer in the first place was to avoid public speaking…)

And yet there I was: mic’d up in front of hundreds of people, under blinding stage lights, with professional cameras rolling (the whole thing was filmed on Sanderson’s YouTube channel), and an audience cheering (mostly for the Brandons). I basically embodied that “what the hell, sure” meme.

But funnily enough, it turned out to be a lovely experience. Somewhere along the way, I forgot about my nerves. The Brandons were unbelievably kind, telling me after how much they loved my comments. And readers who hadn’t known me before came up at my signing, where we ended up selling out of my books!

BACK TO WRITING

So it was all very fun and exciting and felt like one long party, but after it was all done, I went back home, put away my suitcase, sat down to write and… nothing. It felt like I’d lost the magic pixie dust of the story. Like the little creative genie who whispered in my ear had gone and flown away in my absence.

I took a few days off. And a few more. Eventually, I decided to just go on writing, even if the words felt dull and uninspired and ugly, and hopefully soon the genie would come back, the words would flow again, and I could find that rare momentum that had captured me in June.

I’m still waiting.

To be fair, it’s only been a few weeks, so hopefully I’ve nearly summited the mountain, and it will be mostly downhill from here. (You can tell I have an incurable hopeful streak—necessary in writing.) But I keep finding myself either a) drawn to other newer, shinier story ideas that seem so much more interesting or b) wondering if I’ve lost my touch and no longer know how to write a good book anymore. Everything is just so bad!

It’s gotten to the point that I barely even measure word count anymore, because I don’t perceive the words written as “good” words. Instead, I simply log the hours spent writing. The time invested in the story. I don’t know if it’s making me a better writer, or if I’m only stuck in a rut of my own making. Does a writer improve with every book they write? I want to believe, yes. But, only time will tell.

And yet, there’s been a bit of good, at least. A few lessons learned, here and there. Three things have helped me immensely to get back into the writing flow:

1. Pomodoro method. I said on a writing panel the other day that I’ve become a major victim of clock app brainrot. Was it worth it—promoting my book online via social media channels but then developing the attention span of a squirrel? Even now I find it more difficult to concentrate than I used to. Hopefully, the effects are temporary. But the Pomodoro method—30 minutes of work with 5 minutes rest, has helped immensely in setting expectations low. I consider a good writing day to be two pomodoros. Just two. Even though that’s only an hour, an hour of active writing is a win for me.

   1. (On another note, I’m learning to celebrate the small wins. The big wins are few and far between in this industry, and so the small wins need to count—and they count when you recognize and appreciate them :)

2. Writing scenes out of order. I’m usually a chronological writer, but something about my outline just felt so tired, and the contrarian in me wanted to rebel. Writing out of order feels a bit like breathing new life into the plot.

3. And my favorite one—reading a short passage from a really good book right before diving into the writing session. I keep THE SECRET HISTORY by Donna Tartt and THE GREAT GATSBY by F. Scott Fitzgerald with me most days. I will open the book to a random section and read a passage, just to experience and absorb what good writing sounds like. What it feels like. It leaves me inspired, envious, wondrous, curious, compelled. And I channel that energy into my own work in progress, which is nowhere near as good, but the beauty of being a writer is this: the world does not hold us to our first pass. We have the chance to try, and try again.